dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
she peed on how many people?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
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