just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
