Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Randomize
