Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
