She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
