I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
