she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
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