my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I'm just crazy horny about you
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
