Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Randomize
