It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
