Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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