not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
