I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
