We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
