non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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