Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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