this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize