Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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