My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize