To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
