Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
