i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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