Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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