I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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