the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
