they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
