Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
