I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Randomize
