ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I will die if light touches me.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
