i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
