do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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