Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I'm sobbing to NWA
The adults are the big ones right?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
