when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
A+ Viking dick
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
