Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
