Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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