You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
