I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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