I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
