I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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