You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Randomize
