Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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