Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
