i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
