I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
