I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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