What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
