I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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