I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
