so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
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