I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
