i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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