I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
You took a bar mat shot.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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