Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
