spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
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