I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
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