I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize