found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I just found a bag of teeth...
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
