i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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