The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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