are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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