mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
