ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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