We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
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