my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
